Remembering Keeps me Up

Sleep is important, I know this now,

especially when I will be talking to you

at 2 a.m. because no one else is awake

enough to hear the things we say or

the secrets we love to share.


Last night, I was really not myself,

I couldn't have been cause you called me

just to hear me laugh or at least have

proof I was not drowning in tears or

watching blood run down my wrist again.


something about love, just not the way

I thought you cared. then something that

made me melt, I believed because it felt

so real, so true. later mention of my

stupid dream being more than a dream to you.


I don't know if I'm going crazy, or

what I should be thinking about this,

but I just hoped maybe writing it out

would keep me from losing my head.


Sleep is a great thing - believe me

when I say it. Especially when the love

of your life is the most unpredictable

paranoid monster you will ever know.


To be honest I don't remember much

other than the things you would do to

keep my blood inside, and that I'm more

mature than you were at this age, or something

closeish to that. I don't know anything anymore.


Your words took my breath away,

they stole all my words and now

this old computer is eating my words

up exactly the way you did when we

first met. So I'll say I am lost and leave

things there, hoping you will understand.