Monday, June 26, 2017

Freckled Orion

Find one unique thing about yourself and embrace it. You are stunning. 

Sunday, June 25, 2017

First Day on the Job

You have no reason to be so nervous. However, whatever you are feeling in this moment is totally and completely valid. Just try not to worry about me so much, I'm perfectly comfortable and ready for this. 

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Birthing the Universe

The sun has begun to rise again and I've seen the way morning light brightens up your face when we wake up next to each other. Now it's your turn to hang in there just a little longer, better days are starting to catch up to us. 

Friday, June 23, 2017

For the Blue Jays Flying Soon

When trigonometry begins looking like the biology charts for mitosis your mind drifts away to the people who helped you through such trying times, and the moment English reminds you of the past but your focus races towards stumbling German or half-finished drawings and waste-basket poems it's fine.

Because you have your whole life ahead of you, and you don't always need the same people as when you're young. Maybe it's the sunshine and all the growing you do between birth and the moment you realize your song has already been sung. 

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Memo for Moving On

Look, I'm tired of living my life around promises unkept from days when I couldn't even decide what to have for breakfast. So in case you get the bright idea, or slightest inclination of returning, I'd like to ask you to keep your distance instead. 

Friday, June 16, 2017

Watching Dawn Awaken

The world may be falling around us, but at least I know what tomorrow brings and that guarantees at least one smile from your sunshiney face.

That's so much more than I've had in some of my darkest hours, and for that I thank you. 

Friday, June 9, 2017

Runaway Model

You gave me a reason to try something new, to wear brighter colors, to leave my hair down, to walk a little slower, to hold my head just a bit higher, to feel better so I'll look better, to smile at Trouble, to laugh in the face of Danger, to start living my life more with each day, and you're not even here to see the results. 

Wednesday, June 7, 2017


Today I remembered your advice about screaming numbers.

I cried today. But that's okay, because if you were here, you'd cry too.

This morning I received wonderful news. 

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Dreaming of Brooksfeild Again

I can't tell if you were here to introduce me to so many of my favorite things, or if they have become my favorites because you showed them to me.

Either way, in our short passing, I wonder what I might have done for you. 

Saturday, June 3, 2017

The Ultimate Solar Flare

When all of this started you were the sun with little flecks of moon dust sprinkled in your soul. Now all that's left is a handful of carbon.

You burned yourself up far too fast for me to hold. 

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Sunlit Saturdays

Sunlight streams in from the hotel skylight 

and your arms loosen up around me enough 
for me to roll over to face you. Gently you 
pull me closer again, put your lips to mine, 
and whisper, “Good morning Beautiful.” 

My brother groans from the corner and 
pulls the blanket over his head more. 
The others are still asleep in the bed 
to our right and the fog against the window 
sparkles in the final sparks of the steadily 
dimming street lights. I want to pull myself 
even closer, press your chest to mine, 
let my words dance along your neck and 
tell you about the dreams I had in your arms. 

I want to know how wonderfully you slept 
and to let the day pass lazily with us like this. 
I want the stars to come out again and to 
be your teddy bear just a little while longer. 

Sunlight streams in from the hotel skylight 
I’ve never really been a morning person 
until my habit of weekends with you began.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Maybe not Today

Someday you are going to understand just how beautiful you are. 

Thursday, May 25, 2017

How to "Grow up"

Darling, you know as well as I do that nostalgia is never going to be a bad thing so long as you use it to fuel new desires and goals.

Anyway, happy birthday!

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Taking on City Life

Maybe I'll just never be up to speed with you the way we once wanted.

But thank you for stopping by, it's nice to hear from you once in a while.

Oh, and by the way - I'm happy for you. Really, I am. 

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

A Smile so Great

Sometimes good deeds are not meant to be thanked outright, but merely eventually from someone else. Not everything has to happen now. Not everything must happen here. 

Monday, May 22, 2017

For Nolan

As you stumble forth growing
up and out of
your roots I hope your branches

That you have a leaf
for every occasion
to fall back on as you carry on
down this winding road.

May flowers bloom and bords
call your heart home
as you find yourself among
this forest of life. 

Saturday, May 20, 2017

20 Minute Lines

There's nothing wrong with remembering your childhood, fondly.

No one will fault you for reliving the days where you could play on the streets til dinner, but never after, spontaneously.

Ice cream will never be good for you, but there's still no such thing as too much of it, happily.

Maybe you're no trapeze artist anymore, but you are one hell of a person, truly.

I hope you enjoyed today as much as I did, even though we didn't talk, purely. 

Just Listen

Please understand:

you are the oceans
and the seas -

the tree branches and
their leaves.
You are the sunrise

in the morning and
starlight when I sleep -
you are the colors after

a rainstorm, your
warmth thaws the
winter's freeze.

You are the air
that I breathe -
you are the wind songs

in the breeze.
You are my entire world,
you mean everything to me. 

Friday, May 19, 2017

Clothed in Memories

And someday when you least expect it I will write our story on you in hopes you will tag the sheets with our symbols using my lipstick as your medium of choice. I will sing the first song we danced to in the moonlight as we waltz through the hearts of strangers walking along side each other downtown. You will take the lead for once because I've had it every other time. Someday when you least expect it our story will be written on you and our names will remain somewhere we've been, don't remember, and will never see again. 

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Vigil for the Mistakes of a Mistake

You don't have to be perfect, but if you really want to make things better after this hurricane of you has come in and torn down everything she ever loved, then a great place to start would be taking a few steps in the right direction.

You know, the direction of helping her pick up her own pieces before searching the sidewalk for your own. 

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Sundance Bliss

I love rose petal delight
covered in the glow of a
rising Dawn.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Thank God for Wonderland

It's official, you've gone mad. Good news is there's a wonderful place waiting for you and the celebration of your arrival.

Congratulations on another fantastic year leading you into the person you've always wanted to be!

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Gotta Get Out

You get up, brush your teeth, go where you need to go, do what you have been told to do, go home, eat, sleep, and do it all over again. You believe that everyone else that can read these words does the same thing. So when you see a teacher going into the lounge for what seems like a cup of coffee and realize that she is staying there for hours and hours at a time. You hear the other faculty members telling each other that she is living out of her car so she sleeps on the couch when she can.

Then you think your friends are just joking with make up and cheap theatrics when they show up with black eyes and scratched arms. Until you pass them in the hallway and see them getting pushed around by the older kids. Suddenly you understand why they won't let you walk with them and why they always look so sad.

Next you go home to find that your parents still aren't talking and there is a new woman in the master bedroom with your dad. She's only half dressed and your mom is in the kitchen crying. But she assures you that it's because of the onions she is chopping to put in pasta sauce. The same excuse as the night before when she ordered pizza because she was too blinded by tears to find the ingredients she wanted. Finally you understand why they were talking in hushed tones late at night and why they were receiving bills from lawyers down town.

Later when you get older you will go to work and do the very best you can. You will do what you are told you need to do and get all the things you need to live in this big confusing world. Peers will envy you and your boss will love you. Some people might begin coming to you for help with their work only until they disappear. You will realize that they just did not do things nearly as well. Then you will see them walking dogs through the park or standing on street corners holding up signs for the big department stores.

Because you always see what you want to see from where you stand and you don't ever dare to ask any questions or check things out from other perspectives. You use your senses as minimally as possible and never try to dig deeper. And everything is never as it seems - everyone has more to their story. It's only so often that someone dares to do what you (and the rest of the world) do.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Few Hours from the Highway

I know, sometimes you just need a way out, a moment to think alone, but thank you for hanging around one more day.

You made countless people smile, simply by being here to smile back at them. 

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Dream Filled Nights

You make the most wonderful teddy bear I've ever had. Please don't let me sleep alone ever again. 

Monday, May 8, 2017

Make Tchaikovsky Proud

It was almost like they were on their own stage, twinkling lights of the most unusually usual kind, a pair of voices that played off of each other in the most awkwardly beautiful of ways, a ballet of their own - one that has yet to be released to the public, able to compete with the Nutcracker and Swan Lake. Together they danced with shadows, pirouetting and twirling in their own way, creating moves that no audience of all ages would be able to handle, and yet, it's so perfect it'd be a shame not to expose to all.  

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Optimistic Phantoms

Often times more beauty can be found in the moments that almost were than the ones that actually occurred. 

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Celebrating my PenPal

Even though we have always been separated by wires and ink weighted pages, you are still one of the most wonderful people I have ever met and I sincerely hope you have a fantastic birthday today!

Friday, May 5, 2017

Finally Figured it Out

I'd like to hear from you again. Not for another chance, but to be the friend I've only recently learned to be. 

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Reverse Psychology

I would tell you that better days are just around the corner, but if I did that you'd lose the energy to make today something wonderful. 

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Sappy Tears Still Call you "Baby"

We never took the photographs you deserved, but I believe my memories of our moments are decades more vivid than ink during our story ever could have been. 

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Baby Doll Spring

NaPoWriMo #13 2017

So many things keep you
from living out your dreams,
and that is just plain, old,
jane sorts of crazy.

You have too many ideas
to be wasting like this
and I hope you are well,
even if the world you live in
is not. Because you cannot

keep wasting this precious
time of yours. 

Friday, April 28, 2017

Battling Plagiarists:

We all search for meaning in our own climates.

Some of us require the solitude of a silent night
while others need the beautiful chaos of coffee shops
and train stations. Light and shadow play into our visions
like Hope and Despair battle for our attention-
each and every day.

We all search for meaning in our own ways-

I just hope your inspiration is a muse more glorious
than I could be for you. Speaking of that,
I've gone on to be someone else's muse -
all grown up and long since moved on,
what brought you here anyway?

We all search for meaning in our own form-

so do be careful taking your words from another
like you loved doing to me. 

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Eternally Grateful

There is strength in knowing how to create your own power...

"By experiencing things you do not want more of you are able
to express desire for those that you do hope for. Like shooting
fireworks into the sky fueled by nothing more than want,"
explained my mom as we sat cross legged on my teal bed
each of us holding a stuffed animal in our shaking arms.

She was trying to teach me that the only way to get out
of our terrifying habits was to decide that we wanted change.
There is strength in knowing how to create your own power
and even though I'm not thrilled with where I'm at right now
I'm grateful she's here still - to help me hold on to hope

that better days could be just around the corner. There are
so many aspects of my daily life that I wish could change,
and looking back on similar situations all I can see is us
chatting in my room with No Doubt and Tori Amos
cheering us on in the background. I will be happy. Soon.

There is strength waiting for me to regain it.

I know how to create my own power.

Doesn't everyone?

Monday, April 24, 2017

Artificial Sunlight is Still Beautiful

If all you've had lately are dark cloudy days and long nights doing things you have to do instead of the things you want to do, then it is not selfish (not even a tiny bit) to take some time away from all of that and just enjoy yourself. Because sometimes in a month or week or however long of bad days, you really just need one to be good. Better than good. Fantastic.

And you have worked yourself to the bone for far too long not to deserve one of those Fantastic days. Today or tomorrow. Sometime Soon. 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

It's a Long Way to the Top

You're everybody's star -

or so you think you'd like to be.

But there's more to life than
going down in history.
Which is funny, 'cause that's
how you met a lot of
your friends, isn't it?

You're everybody's star -

or so you think you'd like to be.

But all that gas and flame
leaves you with more scars
than you or I could count.
And you'd rather be out there
thriving, than merely surviving.

You're everybody's star -

but really, you're just who you've gotta be. 

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Glass Jar Daisy Chains

Darling, fairies don't live forever,
and neither do their flowery homes,
but that doesn't mean fairy dust
won't expire or fade.

There's no use trying to capture
or contain beauty
that must pass on
before finding Hope

in the arms of

a rose.

Darling, fairies don't grant wishes
and stars hardly shine,
but you're more powerful than
pollen or carbon will ever be.

Spoon Full of Sugar

Sometimes, you just have to find little ways to make whatever you've got to do a little more fun. There are endless ways to do this, you just have to find what works for you. 

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Thank the Pegans

Baby zombie Jesus smiles upon you as you conduct your Easter egg hunts for candy and stray one dollar bills. Hopefully now you realize the real purpose of the day. 

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Silly Faces and Chocolate Eggs

Maybe it's time for us to learn a thing or two from the holiday. Not necessarily about zombie Jesus or baby rabbits on the run, but more about time with people you love. Cause we all know you'll never have enough. 

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

A Breath of Fresh Air

I just hope you know that you were right when you said that everything's about to work out in your favor. We're just so sorry we couldn't have allowed for this sooner. 

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

White Roses and Black Ribbons

I won't give you flowery language
that expresses everyone feeling
Exactly the way you are now -

about the death of yet another
loved one, about the comfort
of places you swore you would
never again call home or heart.

I understand that this sorrow
is something you need to
get off your chest and out
of your poisoned veins as well.

I won't give you flowery language
about this one, but I do hope
that you feel better soon -

knowing that we are all
so sorry for your loss.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Living Sunshine

You are the reason my first thought this morning was not, "Do I have to get up?" but rather, "How do I make today just as fun as yesterday?"

Sunday, April 2, 2017

The Morning After

We all have this light oozing from our souls
and the darkness around us stops frightening
the butterflies and birds dancing around
inside of this flesh-covered bone of mine.

Now listen to me, Darling, there's nothing
wrong with me here, I'm not writing about
the emptiness or sorrow 'cause I need you
to find and send help for what's left of me -

Oh, no, I've learned from mistakes like that,
no, I'm writing this way because I let the
beers and sickly sweet martinis settle in
alongside the words in my veins. Which

normally, wouldn't be much of a problem,
except for the fact this time I couldn't find
the stars when it happened, I wasn't able to
behold the wonder and beauty of the sky -

and I think that's what's got me so thrown off
right now, Baby. I'm covered in pinpricks
instead of molds and stencils, so the light
I'm looking for, is coming out all the wrong places.

Nothing's wrong with me, Baby, really it's not,
I'm just starting to find darkness really quite hot. 

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Finally a Fruitling

And I'm gone.

That's right I said it
Spring won't kindle
my soul this year.

I refuse to be rocked
to sleep in the gentle sway
of a lavender scented breeze.

That's right, I did it
Seasonal awakenings will not
control the frequency of my tide.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Thursday, March 30, 2017

I just thought you should know that while today is all about you, and you deserve it so much, I will be out living my life and celebrating a little something too.

I love you so much kiddo, and happy 16th!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Don't Leave Yet

"It's pretty isn't it?"

"Yeah it is, but what is IT?"

"It's called a bus station."

"What's that?"

"People here say it is 'Freedom'."

"Can we go?"