Sunday, August 31, 2014

Another Mistake's Been Made

You asked me why I suddenly decided to change so much about myself so you being you and meaning what you mean to me I told you and I answered as honestly as I could. I am trying to be something I am not because I am tired of people worrying about me and always asking what's wrong when it's simply the fact that I've had too much of people. That's when your smile ran away and you said, "I like it," and whispered, "But I wish you didn't feel that way." Then we went our separate ways because people always have somewhere better to be and we really should stop keeping each other for so long on the way to those places. Although, I should tell you that I heard it when you said, "Love, you've always been perfect to me." Now I miss the way things used to be even more than I already did. 

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Turn Around

"Where would we be if I hadn't thrown my halo off the clouds and given my wings away before I jumped down myself?

The ash won't wash away from my hands nor will the dirt on my face and it feels like the cuts will never heal because the previous scars still haven't begun to fade. It's like the night we watched the sky fall down and counted the stars as they began to die when everything went black and the smoke continued to rise. " you thought to yourself as you walked around exploring your new town.

"Oh angel, why was it always so hard to breathe whenever you were around? Aren't you supposed to take my hand and hold my heart, make everything okay as we watch the world around us fall apart?" I wondered night after night from the safety of my room dancing in the chaos of simple songs with newly weighted lyrics.

Then days passed and we got further and further away from each other. You ran in one direction and I followed in the wrong direction. Until someone saw the pain in your eyes and asked, "Where has your sinner gone? You need them to balance out your purity. Even angel's should know that's the way 'God' has you play the game,"  which left you broken on the sidewalk asking why the swallows dance above the sun and where we would be without all the delirium.

Oh angel, I thought breathing was difficult when you were here, only now do I understand how completely impossible it was before.

Friday, August 29, 2014


And then you sobbed, “Please let me love you,” and my pain melted away. Almost completely.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Posters Outside the Theater

Someday we will star in our own show. We will be the people everyone else wants to be. That is my promise to you.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

early mornings.

I had another dream about you last night. I only remember part of it. I hope you're dreaming well now as you sleep soundly for a few more hours. You dreamed me once, this is me dreaming you back, I love you. 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Finally in Perspective

Darling, you really should keep your distance. There's so much more to this than you realize. I am just another wilted rose covered in scars from family, the outside world, and even my own thorns. I have more thorns than I've ever had petals. I'm a crippled, blackened shell of someone beautiful I haven't been in years. Darling, if I were you, I think I'd keep my distance from me...

Monday, August 25, 2014

Completely Blank Canvass

I know I promised to understand your silence because somehow you figured out how to understand mine. But Love, I am trying my very best and I still don't have a clue what's going on.

Be well, please?

Sunday, August 24, 2014


You probably didn't miss me but you may have wondered where I've disappeared to this time.  I don't feel like myself lately and something tells me you don't either. So I'll be a little distant for a while. I'll be here and gone away and here again. I need you to forgive me for this.

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

I hate me.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Anything and Everything

I promise to stay around as long as my doing so makes you happy. I will be the very best me i have ever been so log as it doesn't change me. I swear I will do every single thing I can to see you smile. Just make me believe that i am your one and only. Even if it's just for today.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Baby Steps

I'm finally saying goodbye to these haunted halls and memories Time can never take and working my way closer and closer to you. But if this is all I get for the time being than I've never been happier. Darling, I love you so much. Things are finally starting to gain momentum, I'll see you soon.

P.S. Stay beautiful for me, okay?

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Sunshine and Northern stars

Thank you for always knowing exactly how to make me shine just a bit brighter.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you so much.

Please don't ever change. 

Sunday, August 17, 2014

TSI25 - the Day of new Beginnings

Thank you for waltzing through my heart while you could, I mean really, thank you for taking time out of your incredibly busy schedule for me (no sarcasm, I mean it in all honesty.) Thank you for showing me what the definition of art really is and the person I really want to be - someone so much better than I was two years ago when we met. Thank you for leaving without saying goodbye and for teaching me what glass feels like when it hits the wall, shatters, and falls to the ground glistening beautifully like new fallen snow in all it's painful perfection. Thank you for broadening my horizons and helping me realize that words are only ever words and they won't change the world they, won't always mean the same thing to everyone, they won't always even be true. Thank you for your stay.

P.s. here lies T.H. another poet just too talented for their own good. 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Wrong Numbers and Bubble Wrap

I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday, like I said I would. It's just that I was busy doing all the things people have to do before they can move on in life and saying all the sayings that are supposed to give you hope when it seems there is none left. Then I got to talking with someone I've known all my life and yet never really met until recently. We learned things we never could have imagined and felt better than we've ever known possible. I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday, like I said I would. It's just that I was a bit busy falling in love with someone for the second time. I know you will understand, because fans almost always do, because young voices playing on the radio grown raspy and hoarse still sing, because I have decided that you will understand and sometimes that's all you need. Anyway, I'll try and make it up to you soon, but please don't hold me to that because falling in love with someone three times is so much more beautiful than only falling in love with them twice. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Not Enough Hours in the Day

You were right, I should have told you that you are pretty when I had the chance. Now we're just too busy for each other and it hurts more than it should because I know you're still here and that the way you feel hasn't changed any you just, you can't be here right now. Even though it's when I need you the most. You were right, I should have told you that you are pretty when you pointed it out, and I know I did, but I should have said it on my own.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Talking in Your Sleep

"That's easy, you just care for someone with all your heart until the day you die."

I hope you are right and it really is as simple as that. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

A Different Kind of Spark

"And you have me on my knees begging you to let me get closer to you," was the first thing you ever said for just my ears to hear.

Sunday, August 10, 2014


I guess you are right, you have the right to know. It's just it feels lame and stupid coming from me. You're just one of those people that is everything, y'know, the kind that everyone wants to be. You wake up every morning with a list of all the people you'd rather be but you're the name at the top of everyone else's list. Because you just have that heart of gold and the brilliance of every star ever born in every galaxy ever known. You're lucky enough to be one of those very few individuals with a mind of your own and the strength to stay that way. And this, well, its just another of those things that just happens. You don't know how or why and most of the time you don't even know when, but you're so completely thrilled that it did. 


Things change as time goes by. That's why you were here, in my heart when I was little and didn't know any better, and you aren't now. As we grow we realize who's here to stay and who's just passing through because they have to. 

Saturday, August 9, 2014

There's a Maze in the Garden

You don't have to understand me when I say this, in fact, I never really thought you would. Because my asking you to understand is the same as asking a shark to sing. At least, if you love me, let your eyes glaze over the next few sentences and at least pretend that you are comprehending with some sort of fluidity. I don't expect you to understand this, but where you stand in regards to my heart is not of importance right now, and really neither are you. I know I hurt you sometimes, I cut you so deep that you bleed, and you do the same to someone else because that's the cycle, it's the way we were taught to believe things go. Only, Love, my dearest, sweetest Love, not everyone is out to get you, and you do need to realize that as it is before time for basic lessons like that runs out. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

A Crystallized Butterfly

You went above and beyond to find items while you were gone to show me how much fun you had while you were away as well as to tell me that you love me. Well, you grasped my essence in some of the most gorgeous ways I have ever soon and I can't wait to see it all with you in our own time. I love you. I wear it everyday and I am thinking of you more and more by the moment. 

Thursday, August 7, 2014

First Days and Crowded Halls

Some days you just have to wake up, splash some cool water on yourself, and walk through the doors with your head held high knowing that everything is not alright today, but it will be soon. There is an air of confidence about you, now let everyone else see that, because these tears just don't do you any justice. 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Faces Forever Fading

I know you were never actually here but you are the most important person I will ever know.

I am fully aware I could never truly call you mine but the love we shared is the same kind of love that makes the whole world jealous.

I realize nothing about this was ever meant to last but Time swore he would never let it end either.

I have come to terms with this and I could have sworn I meant it when I said I didn't miss you anymore but I still hope you remember, because I do.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Fountain Pens

You are the poetry and I am the words. Ink is our blood and pulpy paper is our skin. We live in poorly drafted stories and hundredth attempt letters. I could get used to this, but could you?

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Keeping Talley with Packed Boxes

I know it's been a while since I've seen you, but it's never too late to smile. I'm sorry I forgot to say that before I left and I am even more sorry that after these next few days this is just another one of those places I can't come back to. . .

Be happy, do that for me?

Finding a Newer Map

Maybe you were right in asking me to move on. There are enough reasons presenting themselves and better people waiting. Perhaps you were right. Maybe not.

It might matter. It probably doesn't.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

I am Not Crazy

You keep thinking that people are easy to understand, that everything they do corresponds to something someone wrote about centuries upon centuries ago and it's always going to be spot on and perfectly quantifiable. But people aren't easy to understand. They aren't words on a page. They have substance, they matter, they may be similar but they are never the same.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Widening the Gaps

Sometimes I forget that you are here. I forget how much you know and what you don't. Thank you for standing by me no matter what.