The Sun is Watching

You know how you can tell that I've moved on?

Well, for a while there, you were a part of all my passwords,
as a way of keeping our secret pages alive just a little longer.
Then today I took in the freshest breath of new world air
that I've gotten in a while and changed them all. Not as a way

of saying "fuck you" or forgetting the chapters we shared.

But rather, to thank you for all we did have. Before welcoming in
someone who's been waiting for the full extent of my heart
for so much longer than they ever should have needed.
Sometimes it's the things that are standing in the way

that get us where we need to be. I see that now. 

The Devil's Assistant

Silence might be

your savior, but

to me she's just


another


homicidal


maniac.

The Tides Turned

You never used to be so poetic,

words weren't ever your strong suit at all

but neither were numbers spelled out

in equations. Romanticism was never

your friend and the way we always stayed

in made me feel like you were ashamed of me -


like I was an embarrassment of a lover.

So I broke myself down and I lied,

I tore you to shreds and I ran away

long before you had the sense to call

an ambulance. I didn't realize that

our love made you so unstable,

and how could I when you were


never even there?


So don't let my return

drag your heart up

to the shore from

the furthest,

darkest depths


if you're going to take that as

false hope and try to steal

someone else's chance at happiness.


Maybe we both made mistakes,

but there was a reason I left and

you stayed in that world you createdin your head.

The Fire Within

What is with today's world

when everyone feels like

everybody's nothing,

because magazines

and television plauge

so many minds

daily.


Theres fire and ice

everywhere you look,

but its far more

Noticeable

within each of us

longing to put

our spark

out.


No one goes to the

mirror anymore to smile,

"There's the reflection

I admire so much."

Though they should

all of us are so

beautiful.


It's gotten so bad

that driving past the

high school I saw a

cathartic scarecrow

just waiting to

influence more of

us to be like

her.


What is with today's world

that we can't be satisfied

just by being ourselves?

Why must rhey make

us feel so small

when we know

that we are truly

amazing.

The Flow

Staring out the window at the lucid storm

fingers lightly tapping the blanket,

I wonder what tonight will bring.


Dreams to inspire love?

Fears to remind me of sorrow?

Messages to guide me in hope?

Something new to try, for experience?


The block on my ideas stabs me

oh God, my life's so boring.


Moving to the floor, my back against the wall,

feet sliding along the wooden floor boards,

pen in my hand getting slippery, losing

my grip and my captive mind running too.


Thoughts begin racing, legs collapse,

pen dances on the floor, imprinting new thoughts

forever and ever, for all to see.


I only hope the future owners

don't get mad at me...


What can I say though,

the inspiration comes and goes

I just have to follow the flow.
    

Talking to a Silenced Heart

I will never understand why you

Do the things you do. Or why I

Just cant ever seem to help you.

But I am glad you are in my life,

Even without talking, I guess I

Know you are still ok by the feeling

In my heart every time you

Cross my mind. Is that enough

To know thzt a person means

More than everything to you?


Anyway I just wanted to say

I miss hearing from you. I love

You so very much. Have a good

Evening please. Oh and don't forget

To remember me so I can

Remember not to forget you.


With love,

Your dreamer forever
 

To Someone Inky

I miss you in ways I never thought possible.


It's not like we were ever in love

and it's not hope of better days

that kept us together. But you

introduced me to some of my favorite songs

and I can't even listen to them


without wanting to cry

because you're not around

to talk about them,

to give them happier stories

like you did before.


Gravenhurst is almost the same thing,

I wanted to show him to you -

but he died shortly before your birthday.

Porcupine tree doesn't exist anymore

and Steven Willson only writes tales

of heartbreak now, Cake disappeared

and their randomness breaks me

in ways you're never going to realize.


Whenever someone calls me Hun or honey,

I look around the room for you,

fully aware you won't be there.

Someone I love was talking with me,

"I've come to terms with the fact

you've given your heart to someone else,

I am just a place holder until someone

better comes along," he said. . .


But I didn't, I didn't

give my heart to you,

It wasn't even love.


I miss you in ways I never thought possible,


so what was it?
    

Adult Supervision Required

Everything I write is
as honest and real,
as vivid and personal
               as breathing.

There is no filter between
my heart and my mind
so I'm not imposing one
between pen and paper either.

If this worries or offends you
this is not the place
                  for you.

Otherwise, thank you
for your time and please
                   come again. 

Neon Pinks, Greens and blues - oh those blues

Remind me more of those

poison dart frogs

you used to draw


wear more bright colors

so you warn away

all those other hungry mouths


going after you in alleys

and unknown backgrounds.

Songs Dont Say it

If ten thousand days

of living life

despite being on fire

was enough to send you

home to something -


anything that was better

than those goddamn flames

then when do I

get my

"happy" ending?

Complete and Off Track

You always were kind enough
to find beauty in me -
even when I sat broken
on the side of the road
trying to gather up all my
                                pieces.