Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Remember the Chorus

I never did have the voice of an angel, thank you for saying so every day though. Should you ever come around again, I'm doing better. And I'll always have the time to sing you a tune or two - you know, like we used to. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Baby Ava's Angels

You never knew them. You aren't related in anyway - but someone once spoke your name so beautifully, with such love that I hope you make them proud in everything you do. Because they'll be cheering you on every step of the way from somewhere far and painfully gentle - even if you can't understand that now. 

Monday, July 27, 2015

The Weight of it All

Sometimes feeling better gets in the way of living because learning how to love sunshine again after the rain takes a little longer than you remember from last time. 

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Well-meaninged Lies

You're not going to remember this when it matters, but you promised to kiss me when I was strong enough to fly. And you swore you'd kiss me when I was far enough to call myself free. Then you said you wouldn't leave me for good until you were close enough to put your lips to mine as a way of replacing the word "goodbye" before walking away.

That way if I drowned you'd have no part of it. Only, I know how to use my wings now and you're no where to be seen for that either. 

Monday, July 13, 2015


I'd dress it up in beauty and metaphor, but maybe it's simply the way you make me feel completely radiant that lets me love you so openly.

So blissfully. 

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Cross-Country Counter Days

I really miss the way you and I would stay up til the darkest part of night talking, just waiting for the perfect moment to scream those words. The ones filled with joy and love, happiness and hope - Happy Birthday. Words with more power than the spewed good graces of New Year's Eve and the First of January - because those words are shared by an entire country at the same time, and these words - these words belong to such a small handful of people at a time and the ones who remember to say them are more important than they will ever realize. I miss a lot of things about you, especially on days like today - only you're not the only one I miss anymore. 

Friday, July 10, 2015

Paradise Dream

I miss how you wrote with such passion even if your skills were skewed. I remember how you'd never say which way you cared for me, but you said those words like watered down coke every night just before hanging up the phone. I can still hear you calling me angel and wishing me well followed by that long, heavy sigh just before you'd whisper good night and sweet dreams.

I hope you have someone new now. I wish they would be in your arms every night. I've already given my eulogy for such a beautiful sigh. 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Short of Breath

I always love when days get so long and tragically dark that we believe we can see the stars. It's moments in life like that that we have to thank for our growth. I find it inspiring that emptiness and fear are brave enough to offer us a chance to question and test our faith - I know what you're about to say and yes, I am writing this at 2 a.m. while doing that exact thing (questioning. Testing). But what kind of artist would I  be if I banished my starside rants from these hallowed pages of clarity and what would I gain from my poetic therapy sessions if I didn't at least try to make something more stunning than roses or moons from my pain? So allow me, if you will, to return to my point. Because as people - nothing more than the atoms that form the elements of our societies, we crave friction and contact, balance and gentleness. We must be reminded that others out there have felt what we are feeling when we feel it. We must know that never in any second of time will we ever be truly alone. I have noticed something fascinating in the way humans manage to be stars (fueled and passionate) and snowflakes (frigid and stoic) all at once - without ever so much as batting an eyelash and no matter how horrible we feel or how dark the sky gets we will Always remain more radiant than the sun and more complex than any universe. And it's always thoughts like this that get me through the days I forget how to breathe. 

Monday, July 6, 2015

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Pop! Pop! Boom!

We sat there staring at empty skies waiting for a signal. Something - anything to prove that our country had survived another year, despite the struggles, the lies, the countless losses. Stars kept us a lonely sort of company. The stripes were no where to be found. Leaves rustled in the breeze and a storm rolled in. We heard celebration all around - but somehow we were still left out. No lemonade or fireworks, no cheering or thrills just a couple of blankets and each other. WE sat there staring at empty skies but at least we can say we tried.

Happy 4th of July.

I'll see you again next year. 

Friday, July 3, 2015

Bountiful Appreciation

When I say that I love me it really means that I love the world around me. I love the life I live. I love myself. I love yesterday. I love tomorrow. I love today. I love you. When I say that I love me what I'm really saying is that I love all of this because I know I am making a manifestation of myself. 

Thursday, July 2, 2015

"Right Here"

I never understood why it was so easy to forget about you or how moments with such importance were completely meaningless so quickly. Really, I didn't even miss you all that much. And then today I was listening to the radio and songs I've never heard before played. Only as I listened I knew them, word for word, and I couldn't figure out why until I heard the lyrics in your voice. Your voice! Suddenly everything was clear, the songs you read me as bedtime stories decided to drop a line and say hello. I hope you're doing well enough these days. 

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Carry Joy

I will never forget the way you smile at me over something so simple that it should be nothing. I hope you can always remember why you smiled each time.