Sunday, July 31, 2016

The First is Supposed to Leave, Right?

I tried not to cry when you forgot my birthday for the first time in nearly ten years. And I tell myself we were just too young to last, maybe you really were meant to be here, and I guess that's the only reason I shattered in the midst of pure bliss over nothing more than the sheer lack of you. 

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Like Chocolate and Whisky

So I have something to tell you while I've got your full attention, and believe me, you'll want to listen. The sky is only ever as sweet as you allow it to be. 

Friday, July 29, 2016

Too Many Memories, Not Enough Time

I should have told you how much fun you made even the most upsetting tasks become. Thank you for finding your way here, I hope you can pick out the pieces for you. 

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Where the Path Meanders

Baby Elena born Wednesday July 27

I hope that you grow into your new shoes more gracefully than you outgrew the last pair. 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Making Progress

I just thought you should know that you are worth the efforts of feeling lovely in your own skin. Even if it's just one night at a time. 

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

We Balance Each Other Out Well

I know you know that numbers and I really aren't friends, but the moment you give me a real-life problem I'll have it figured out in a heartbeat. 

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Sorry I was being awarded my wings for survival

Yesterday was weird because I had a life to live. I miss you. I'll be back in a few days.

Stay strong.

Stay beautiful.

Stay free.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Brutal Honesty

I don't really care whether you have decided to go, but I do know you should come back for your shadows and unplayed records. 

Sunday, July 10, 2016

The Mile Marker

Here you are, so close you can taste it. And all you want to do is cry.

That's okay, take my shoulder. Cry all you need.

We all understand. 

Friday, July 8, 2016

Simple Little Runins

Sometimes if I'm lucky, I still get a stray thought centered around the beauty that was our summer. There are moments when grocery stores with big displays of green apples make me wonder how you are. And I still have days that I think of you just because.

Sometimes if I am lucky, your absence reminds me just how much I have grown, but also there's a decent memory of our joy. 

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Today, Someday, Inevitibly

Someday it's going to occur to you that it is too late for you to maintain your character. Your promise is nearly too late to keep, our countdown is steadily reaching zero and someday you are going to realize that you missed out on way too many things you weren't worthy of at the time, so you'll never truly understand. 

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Firecracker Mistakes

It was those spontaneous smiles
that kept you coming back with
wandering hands slipping

more often than clock hands.
Wide open spaces ceaselessly
fight calm seas to find you

captivated within open,
perfect afternoons, young
like a letter saying I love you

instead of gradually
building up to the punch
goodbyes normally have.

You were my fourth of July
spunky little girl. Short bursts
of energy - explode then fade. 

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Perhaps Marco Took Refuge in You

Messages and letters from you arrive without warning and they are so magical, even when they come to me broken-heartedly.

From today on, I will be the most brilliant "revoir" with scarlet locks and clothes only of shades between first snowfall and abysslike ebony. 

Friday, July 1, 2016

Push Comes To Shove

I would never compare you to a snowflake

you're just too plain. Simple, little girl,
but don't give yo, I'm thoroughly impressed.
You got out of that little home town of yours
and chased your innocent, flavorless,
antibacterial dreams, but it wasn't enough.

I would never compare you to ice cream

even though you melt under pressure
and freeze at the thought of their kindness.
Show me how pretty the world is, maybe then
you'll sprout fairy wings and fly to happiness,
because this isn't who you are.

I would never compare you to an angel,

you're just not that bright. Honey, sweetie,
listen to me, please. Honestly, you were adorable,
but you won't make it out here in this big city.
Go back home, while you still know the way,
or you'll be dreaming in cellophane again.

I want to say all these things you need to hear,
but I respect you way too much for that, Love.