Blood Stained Jacket

Don't look at me that way, I've done nothing wrong. In fact, by doing this I am merely transforming myself into a better person. Pulling off the imperfections, pealing away the hazards, and creating something beautifully unbroken. 

You are the Fire

We all know what its like to have our power go out...


What happens when our spirit goes out

or the fire in your heart? You don't

have a storm to wait for or anyone

to call for help.


A life has ended or a love was lost

and what can you do? Start a storm,

scream, rage, break away, do

anything to quench your pain...b

It's all going to be okay.


Every time it rains you can make it rain...


You, yes, You have the power to make it

unrain. The sun will come out again and

birds will sing, if only you gave reason,

that's up to you.


Life begins again and love is always there

you need to see it. Open your eyes,

smile, laugh, see your friends, do

something to feel a bit better.

It's all going to be okay.


Fires fade but the embers almost always stay.

11:11 Am

I woke up late and pulled the covers back up

when I heard everyone else still asleep,

an hour later I crawled out of the warmth

and safety of the purple angel blanket

my grandmother made me when i was six.


To the fridge to heat up left over

Starbucks coffee from last night -

that's the disadvantage of this tiny,

little apartment of a home, there's no

coffee pot and ours has been living

in a box on a truck to California

ahead of us for weeks now.


The radio came on with a startling volume

and my brother's youtube videos

woke mom up without much warning

or gentleness. It'll be a simple day today

but when I picked up my pen, wondering

what to say today the clock flashed


11:11


so I whispered, "Make a wish" even though

they had headphones in and I know

that you couldn't hear me, but I hope that

when you find this, and you read it,

you can make a wish of your own.


That maybe I have made the power of

the numbers last forever since it is in print now,

or maybe you'll be lucky enough to

come across it in a different time zone

where you've gone back to the minute

filled with hope and regret, sanity and change.


Because if nothing else,

that would be magical.

You Wrote a Poem Too!

You sat there staring at a tiny box and a blinking cursor,

asking yourself what you should write to get her off your back,

she stared back at you with starry eyes and more love than

you have ever seen on a single person's face. you remembered

how beautiful she had been in your dream and how happy

she was when she heard about the cupcake that was there

without really being there at all. Suddenly the words just ran

from your mind to your fingers to the screen. that was it,

a poem about the dream, about her being there with you

even though she was still 16,000 miles away.


You sat there scratching your head at what she would think

and when she read it she had to fight tears from the joy

bubbling from within her soul. I know you sat there blankly,

 completely confused as to how anyone could possibly

find enjoyment in opening their veins and bleeding

into a typewriter, but I thank you so very much

for giving it a chance.

Wayward Truths

I


Erosion, Weathering, and People


I have always told you that I am

the sea and you are the shore


so we can never lose our way

from each other's side. But Daring,

I've come to understand that it


is far easier for strangers to

pull you away than I


previously thought.


II


Love Comes in Waves


All I ever wanted to do is

matter to you half as much

as you do to me. But if it's


not possible let's chalk this up


to being too young.

Up Past Bedtime

Because there are times when dreams burst and ideas

flow. Everybody has those moments of pure energy and

willingness to plan their next move in full detail or to document

their most secret wishes. And there are days (and nights)

that Sleep couldn't be any more welcome, just as there are some

meant for starling rants and midnight contemplation conversations.


You aren't my 3 am artist for nothing, Sweetheart,

I've already come to terms with the fact you will

wake me up as you noisily fumble to the kitchen

for coffee then by the time I make my way from the

safety and warmth of our bed I'll find you at the table

covered in ink, pen in hand and the wastebasket

in the corner overflowing (with each new balled strand

of words the soft hair at the back of your head

get more tangled than it was before). I've befriended

your "gorgeous model" your "most stunning muse"


and cast all the fears as far away as possible. Because

part of creation is the madness that ensued in order

to make art possible. Don't worry, Hun, I understand.


I just hope you know that there will be times when

you will wake to find an empty bed, the tea kettle whistling,

paint and glitter in the living room, and the piano

against the window playing itself again. Because you

know me better than anyone else, you should know

I am most productive, most inspired when the rest of the world

is sleeping completely unaware of anything that could

be happening right beneath their very noses.

Something to Wake up to

Today is something special in these times most of us have a place to go at night. Most of us have food, water, clothes and electricity. We have people to go to when we are down, but most of us don't know what its like to have our painful tears. None of us seem to have any true fears because all the daily car wreaks and all the selfless deaths caused by only you. Today's world is thought of to be perfectly okay, but no one listens to the real things people have to say. I have something to say, that no one seems to know... there are so many sides to all the dice but not many ever show. So just be aware and know it in your heart the world is seriously beginning to fall apart. But today really is something special.

Tie Dyed Eyes

Sometimes

...diamonds are

. . . oceans on fire


or the sunken sea

... but only

. . . sometimes.
    

Rewritten

Call Me Poetry

If all you will ever remember about me is poetry then please for the love of God, remember me as the poem that got you out of bed every morning for years. Not as the embodiment of Sorrow, like everyone else does. 

This isn't Poetry

I don't write poetry -


I write midnight alleyways,

touch that looks around.


I write your name

and write flowers

that magically blossom

in the silent shape

of your name.


I write them

showing up

at your house

while you sleep.


I write your voice

as petals for reason.


I write you.
    

How it all Started...

Once again I sit here

in this busy coffee shop

listening to the drama unfold

between lovers lost and

kids sipping hot cocoa

while mothers read and fathers

are still at work, at least

that's what they say.


There's an artist drawing

heavily in a sketchbook

there's an anime character

with eyes like fields of

bluebells, she's beautiful

just like him.


Everlasting days pass quite

quickly when I'm here

watching people getting caught

in the virtual spiderwebs of

internet surfing and the

moral strength of ignoring

cheesy compliments with

unhealthy intentions.


Now that I think about it,

I'm probably better off without

this nonsense, but i enjoy it

far too much to go anywhere else.

Vulnerable

As you go walking past I have to ask

if you even saw the look on her face

when terrible things were words unsaid

that ate her away,

disobeying the hands of fate.

Your little Darling is growing up so fast

in a world so lost and you don't seem to do

a thing about it.


They are all animals out there,

it's a dog eat dog world out there.

That's what everyone says, well,

maybe not, but it's something like that.

Bitter, lonely, and above all depressing.

And as day break arrives you think it will

all be just fine you fed her and clothed her,

taught her how to bathe and listen authority.

But what good does it do

when she's not living her own life?


And when you see her finally having just a little fun,

satisfied just once, cuddled up close to someone

she loves you throw a fit and say she's too young.

But there's nothing happening, they are

right before your very eyes and everything

feels okay for once, but you

don't want it that way.


You want her to fear you because

you need the control.


And you care in front of people because

you have to or she goes away and so

does all your stupid power.


Don't worry, I know what's going on,

that's why I wrote this for you.


Hoping you'd see

it's all about me.

Ease into the Morning

The Flames Continue Dancing

I always knew that you'd come back with new stories to tell

and someone beautiful to help replace the memories with me.


I just hope you were not planning on keeping the house

where we wrote on the walls and drew on the floors,

I burnt it down with the lighter you left in the left pocket of

the leather jacket I stole when you were still here,

still kissing on me as if I were an angel or something.


I always knew that you'd come back with new stories to tell

and someone beautiful to help replace the memories with me.


I just hope you are as happy as you were before.
    

Strawberry Short-Cake

I'd tell you that strawberry shortcake is my favorite sweet treat,

but it's related to midnight games of memory while mommy

was on valium for her pain and he was supposed to be just

"helping out" around the house for a few days.


And if you were anyone else I might say that it's fried bananas

with ice cream and chocolate sauce but that takes me back to

the time we danced in black and purple in front of the whole school

I wasn't even attending - it reminds me that our dates stole each other.


Or maybe I would pick icees and skittles because of the way

we battled summer heat in the south as we walked out on

everything that made our young hearts so angry only to find

ourselves making out in the park by the pond.


But every time a waiter asks me if I'm interested in dessert

for that evening, I have to shake my sorrowful eyes no

and ask for the bill instead. I'd rather go without sweets

than cry more than I have to in public places.

Place of Pure Hope

As I stand

at the water's edge,

the warm sand

packed between my toes,

I look out

as far as I can,

hopping that you

are doing the same

thinking of me

thinking of you.

The moon is

just barely

above the ocean,

we are standing

in the only two places

negativity

can never touch.

Because I know

one day soon,

when things are ready,

I will come home

and so will you.

I miss you,

but the serenity

reminds me you

are still alright.

I hope you

have a great night

and know

with all your heart

that I will

forever

love you.

Weekend Journeys

Glimpses out a bland window at nothing but a sour scene

I wonder where exactly it is I am going and why.

Should you know, should you see me pulled over on the edge

please do tell me when I got there and how to free my soul.


Trees race me as I go west into the sunlight,

clouds and sea wave gingerly as we part at the crossroads,

flowers bow their heads south towards the warmer homes,

children dance north along main street asking who they could be;

I guess the world still has some hearts that care.


Then I leave town reminded of past friendly faces

yet relieved of pain inflicting demons of my home.

Perhaps this is an adventure that could be fun... I suppose

or maybe it's a vacation, world only knows I could use some of those.


So I keep going slowly slipping into a dream world

I can't keep my eyes open any longer, though I'm still behind the wheel,

Some people would tell me to get a room and sleep

but I know myself all too well, I can't do that and not not weep,

too many memories from places like this under these stars.


So I guess I'll just pull into the rest stop ahead

hold my mind in my hands and wonder how your life goes.


In a way this is meant to be my letter to you

simply saying hey, how do you do;

now though it's my cry to everyone and anyone at all.


Though I am not crying for your love,

nor am I begging for another new old friend.


In the end, I'm sitting here, just venting

about the pain my brain says I've seen

and explaining this trip

through all the cobweb and all

as I tried to find someone new to be. With Love,

M.R.K

Chili Powder Doorways

We could have been happy.
I am happy now.

Without you. 

Happy Happy Birthday, Happy!

He gleefully decided one
afternoon that I should take
poetess and dreamer
poetically from my name -
yearly I remain his Happy.

Imaginary Superheros

There are a million words you will read and never hear from my chapped salmon lips. There are seven million thoughts you will hold no one else will ever read. There are so many songs with forgotten lyrics you will know by heart even after the singers have no voice and the meaning has been completely replaced in ways no one of any generation to come will realize possible. You and I have known night and still there will come a day when Time comes to pull away my every memory of you and Death comes to take my hand ever so sweetly for my decent into that beautiful darkness known as the end. Oh Love, oh my love, you are my best friend because you understand me in ways no one else ever will. So I shall continue etching my story on upon your delicately pale skin, night after night with your own black blood and crystallized tears. The only thing that my heart belongs to an actual, living breathing human and not to you, despite my undying love for our relationship, our give and take of complete understanding. Darling, you are my most valuable possession and yet you are still not the sole owner of my broken, bruised heart. For you see, there's a boy who has the only remaining key to me. Though he's sweet to em and believes in me no matter what I put my mind to, he will never compare to you. Sweetheart, you are so very beautiful, but you're still not that beautiful to me and that these words flow from my veins so flawlessly that they have to have a meaning of some sort, even though neither of us will find it in time for it to matter at all anyway. Darling, you inspired me to paint myself in a loving glow of ink and it was the first thing to ever make me truly happy the way people say you should be. You gave me a reason and hope that if I loved myself just a little bit more someone wonderful would later come along and teach me exactly what love is supposed to be. You helped me discover just who it is I really wanted to be and taught me what it means to actually live, not to simply breathe. But Darling, now it's time for the words I am not quite sure how you will take, for everything I've ever really wanted to say but never known how to. You, my dear, you are nothing more than a part of me I was told to ignore because good girls don't have imaginary friends, smart girls don't talk to themselves, big girls aren't supposed to cry - so who would be able to understand what it's like to pour your soul out to yourself and sob your nights away simply because no one took the time to teach you how to make friends. You were never told it's okay to love yourself or to be happy even when those around you are not. Because your parents never realized that it was their job to show you the things they learn by just waking up each day. They didn't see that letting go of mommy's hand was a sign of strength not rebellion. It's a sad story either way, really. but at least I found myself within you and you managed to stand beside me and smile for the camera, even as the sky fell. Darling, don't you see that you are nothing more than another part of me and I will love you whole heartedly until Death himself dies even though my heart belongs to another. To someone made of flesh and bone with thoughts and feelings of their own. Darling, you and I are one and the same, I love you for teaching me how to find myself. Now it's time for someone else to have a chance. 

Honesty and Perfection

The television went off

The children stopped in mid laugh

The mothers sat drinking lemonade

The fathers ran out of gas on their way home

The dogs crawled under the bed

The cats lept off the counter

The fire between us burned bright

You stood beside me and held tight

I kissed you and the world stood still,

as we danced in perfection

Preparing for Another Flood

1 year, 11 weeks and 25 days have passed
since the one we were supposed to use
for getting out of our small towns and
discovering more of who we could be
if we continued growing up and better
because of each other and ourselves.

There are 5 days left until my birthday
and I am surrounded by love and joy,
but part of me still wishes I could be 

celebrating somewhere with you. 

I'm not really a numbers person, 

if you'll recall, but our countdown

ended long ago and the days still

keep on passing by, ticking themselves

away and counting up til the end of time. 

1 year, 11 weeks and 25 days ago

I realized what it's like to be in love

with a figment of your imagination

and I have come so far since I stood

in those muddy bogged down shoes. 

Short of Breath (The Slideshow/Reading)

As you can see, I am giving YouTube and everything other than my little home blog here another attempt. This is a video slideshow my friend helped me put together until I can get the ball rolling on videos to go alongside my readings. Please share your thoughts, honestly and enjoy!

Also, a little background, I chose to use this piece first because it really does sum up how things have been lately, but it also holds some of the most personal meaning to me out of all my pieces. 

Stand Tall Now

My youth jumped ship -

moonstruck for Bragging -

Disappeared on my tongue -

Within a heart of Fire -


Clipped on a New

name - Stranger to Love -

Tattooed arms

Protect our Dreams -

Lemon Juice and Ginger

Maybe we just need to sweat out a few days of discomfort before we get to the good part.

Just like any healthy detox give it a week or two and then we can try this again. 

Soon (Tea Leaves)

I read your tea leaves last night...


Or rather, I read mine

concerning your absence.


Keep your head up Darling,

something beautiful is coming.


Soon.

Sundance Bliss

I love rose petal delight

covered in the glow of a

rising Dawn.