Friday, January 26, 2018

Picking up Daisies

Yesterday I found photos of the centerpieces we made together and all of our guest lists for pretend dinner parties and everything else we could think of.

This morning I came across the drawings of our dream house and the lists of our desires for a life together.

And although I'm aware that you are happy where you are now, those were joyful moments that I'll carry on in my heart forever more. Thank you for your stay. 

Monday, January 15, 2018

Just Too Strong

And I just hope you know that if you come home to find me at the edge of the bed crying with my head in my hands it’s only because I hate myself so much. For every time I didn’t kiss you even though I had the chance. For being too shy to ask you to dance. For not screaming those words to the world when there were still people to hear it. Because you see, I never thought I’d miss you nearly as much as I do every time you go somewhere else to stay the night away from home.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Still Settling In

Sweetheart, you don't understand, I am doing absolutely everything I can to get a decent hold on what's going on here. I know that you are helping me in absolutely every way you can imagine, but I feel so bad accepting that from you because I'm a fish out of water; I've got nothing to offer. 

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Nineteen, Eighteen, Seventeen, You get the Point

If today were any other day
I'd be on a plane
heading to you with books
and movies in my arms.

I'd buy balloons and pizza
(I know you're not ten)
but I hope it'd bring back
the good old times -

of dancing in the gym
and soccer by the back gate,
moments of weakness spent
reading in the sun.

If today were any other day
I'd wish you a
happy birthday completely
unlike any before it. 

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Begin Again

Maybe things didn't really go the way you planned, but hey - if you want it to tomorrow can begin a whole new chapter for you.

Friday, December 29, 2017

The Star Resting on Top

Finally -
a holiday worth remembering.

One spent with friends and family
not just one or the other.

A holiday with laughter and joy -
no photos, but that's alright.

Presents waited patiently under the tree
and the movies were just right.

We had a fire roaring
(Thanks to Netflix).

There was coffee, hot cocoa, and tea
each warmed to perfection -

and the best part of it all
was that you were each here with me.

Finally -
a holiday I want to

*not on PnQ

Thursday, December 28, 2017

The Clouds have Begun to Pass

I missed your birthday. On purpose this year.

But I figured I'd get you out of my system early so that I don't have to think about the graffiti waiting on the pearly gates or serenading you with lyrics from Cake or Iron and Wine again.

I missed your birthday. You would be proud of me, finally.

But I can't help it, I have to wish you well and hope you'll remember me with words like "found" and "temptation" - even after you've found "the one" you were always looking for next ti the lions and the ladies training your previously beloved trapeze swinger.

I've missed your birthday. Enjoy whatever year this is for you. Please.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Stranger Beauty

I'm not exactly sure if you are going to understand this or not, but without the kindness of the world there would be no world. 

Friday, December 22, 2017

The Christmas Atom

You are goofy and weird, and I get so many comments on how much you don't fit in, but that's exactly why you are so perfect. Here.

P.S. Happy birthday 

Monday, December 18, 2017

The Last Bottle on the Shelf

I'm all out of tears spilt from missing you. I'm all out of broken hearted lyrics to sing outside of your window. I'm all out of meaninglessly meaningful and pathetic excuses. I am so sorry, but I am done having nothing left to hold on to but the memory of the day I watched you walk away. Never to return.