Thursday, October 19, 2017

Heart to Heart

I am sorry for that time we fought so long and loud that the neighbors wished us condolences the next day, for that time we fought in late afternoon and the sun refused to feel warm on our backs, for that time we felt the entire house shake from the fury in our voices. I am sorry that you felt the need to walk out and it wasn't even anything I said, that we both bled all over the kitchen for absolutely nothing, that we had to bend and break before we could heal.

Honestly though, I do not regret it at all. I am thankful that we were able to gain battle scars from a battle actually worth fighting, that our war was for love and not hatred, that we are better off for it - closer than we've ever been before. I am grateful that we had this chance to get the steam out of our heads, that we could clear our minds and patch up our hearts all at once, that we figured it out on our own - it just took more time than we (or anyone else) expected. 

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Not Needed Anymore

You were right, I don't need anything from you -

not the skype calls at one am
or the poems written in vague language.
I don't need your voice coming
across wires when all I want to do
is fall apart all over again.

And I suppose you were right when you said

that the walls only start talking once
the trouble maker fades away, but
you weren't the troubled one at all.

All spun like sugar and aged like wine

you were just a sense of poison
I wasn't able to name yet. Like
hemlock or too much lavender tea.

Hun, I can't tell you why you're still

captivating my heart and on my mind
everytime I turn around, even after I
swear I've moved on (for real this time?)
So I won't even try this time around,
but I do wonder what it would be like

to need you all over again.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

New Face in the Mirror (Sort of)

Look here change is nothing to shy away from, and until you realize that you will never be as truly you as you (or the rest of us) deserve you to be. 

Monday, October 9, 2017

Roll the Dice

I will never see your face or be able to pick your voice out of the crowd outside, but I think that's why I've chosen you to read my story before anyone else. 

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Learning as We Go

It's not the mistakes I mind, it's not even having to clean them up after them, it's not putting my best foot forward from the getgo. But if this is how we're going to play this out, then let's go arm in arm, without any fear because if nothing else this is the best way to get experience and knowledge under our belts. 

Monday, October 2, 2017

Little Blue Hearts

If you'd like to remain frozen and die alone then I will gladly leave you to your impending misery. But you know as well as I do (hopefully) that that's the kind of life no one can be satisfied with. 

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Complete Honesty

You have only ever been a geek dressed in tinfoil.

But no knight in shining armor could have been any sweeter.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Butterflies and Cheetahs

Would you say yes if I asked you to run away with me?

For All the Stars

This one is for all the stars that

burned too brightly, too fast,
or simply so hot that even
the sun was jealous.

You will be remembered,
even if you had no names,
and you will be forgotten
as though you were never

anything more than a simple
gust of wind on a spring morning.

But please do not fret Darlings,
your ghosts will be used to
fuel more fires and stories than
you can possibly imagine.

This one is for a star named Jarred.

Who has been missing for two years
and while everyone else has moved on,
burried your lifeless body, and ignored
the rumors from the city
about your disappearance,

I've moved to Los Angeles
and someday someone is
going to make a movie about you -

telling only the truth.

This one is for all the stars that
burned too bright, too fast, and
may have even made the sun jealous. . .

* What a note to end suicide awareness month on?