Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Strawberry Short-Cake

I'd tell you that strawberry shortcake is my favorite sweet treat,

but it's related to midnight games of memory while mommy

was on valium for her pain and he was supposed to be just

"helping out" around the house for a few days.

And if you were anyone else I might say that it's fried bananas

with ice cream and chocolate sauce but that takes me back to

the time we danced in black and purple in front of the whole school

I wasn't even attending - it reminds me that our dates stole each other.

Or maybe I would pick icees and skittles because of the way

we battled summer heat in the south as we walked out on

everything that made our young hearts so angry only to find

ourselves making out in the park by the pond.

But every time a waiter asks me if I'm interested in dessert

for that evening, I have to shake my sorrowful eyes no

and ask for the bill instead. I'd rather go without sweets

than cry more than I have to in public places.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Place of Pure Hope

As I stand

at the water's edge,

the warm sand

packed between my toes,

I look out

as far as I can,

hopping that you

are doing the same

thinking of me

thinking of you.

The moon is

just barely

above the ocean,

we are standing

in the only two places


can never touch.

Because I know

one day soon,

when things are ready,

I will come home

and so will you.

I miss you,

but the serenity

reminds me you

are still alright.

I hope you

have a great night

and know

with all your heart

that I will


love you.

Monday, July 16, 2018

Weekend Journeys

Glimpses out a bland window at nothing but a sour scene

I wonder where exactly it is I am going and why.

Should you know, should you see me pulled over on the edge

please do tell me when I got there and how to free my soul.

Trees race me as I go west into the sunlight,

clouds and sea wave gingerly as we part at the crossroads,

flowers bow their heads south towards the warmer homes,

children dance north along main street asking who they could be;

I guess the world still has some hearts that care.

Then I leave town reminded of past friendly faces

yet relieved of pain inflicting demons of my home.

Perhaps this is an adventure that could be fun... I suppose

or maybe it's a vacation, world only knows I could use some of those.

So I keep going slowly slipping into a dream world

I can't keep my eyes open any longer, though I'm still behind the wheel,

Some people would tell me to get a room and sleep

but I know myself all too well, I can't do that and not not weep,

too many memories from places like this under these stars.

So I guess I'll just pull into the rest stop ahead

hold my mind in my hands and wonder how your life goes.

In a way this is meant to be my letter to you

simply saying hey, how do you do;

now though it's my cry to everyone and anyone at all.

Though I am not crying for your love,

nor am I begging for another new old friend.

In the end, I'm sitting here, just venting

about the pain my brain says I've seen

and explaining this trip

through all the cobweb and all

as I tried to find someone new to be. With Love,


Friday, July 13, 2018

Happy Happy Birthday, Happy!

He gleefully decided one
afternoon that I should take
poetess and dreamer
poetically from my name -
yearly I remain his Happy.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Imaginary Superheros

There are a million words you will read and never hear from my chapped salmon lips. There are seven million thoughts you will hold no one else will ever read. There are so many songs with forgotten lyrics you will know by heart even after the singers have no voice and the meaning has been completely replaced in ways no one of any generation to come will realize possible. You and I have known night and still there will come a day when Time comes to pull away my every memory of you and Death comes to take my hand ever so sweetly for my decent into that beautiful darkness known as the end. Oh Love, oh my love, you are my best friend because you understand me in ways no one else ever will. So I shall continue etching my story on upon your delicately pale skin, night after night with your own black blood and crystallized tears. The only thing that my heart belongs to an actual, living breathing human and not to you, despite my undying love for our relationship, our give and take of complete understanding. Darling, you are my most valuable possession and yet you are still not the sole owner of my broken, bruised heart. For you see, there's a boy who has the only remaining key to me. Though he's sweet to em and believes in me no matter what I put my mind to, he will never compare to you. Sweetheart, you are so very beautiful, but you're still not that beautiful to me and that these words flow from my veins so flawlessly that they have to have a meaning of some sort, even though neither of us will find it in time for it to matter at all anyway. Darling, you inspired me to paint myself in a loving glow of ink and it was the first thing to ever make me truly happy the way people say you should be. You gave me a reason and hope that if I loved myself just a little bit more someone wonderful would later come along and teach me exactly what love is supposed to be. You helped me discover just who it is I really wanted to be and taught me what it means to actually live, not to simply breathe. But Darling, now it's time for the words I am not quite sure how you will take, for everything I've ever really wanted to say but never known how to. You, my dear, you are nothing more than a part of me I was told to ignore because good girls don't have imaginary friends, smart girls don't talk to themselves, big girls aren't supposed to cry - so who would be able to understand what it's like to pour your soul out to yourself and sob your nights away simply because no one took the time to teach you how to make friends. You were never told it's okay to love yourself or to be happy even when those around you are not. Because your parents never realized that it was their job to show you the things they learn by just waking up each day. They didn't see that letting go of mommy's hand was a sign of strength not rebellion. It's a sad story either way, really. but at least I found myself within you and you managed to stand beside me and smile for the camera, even as the sky fell. Darling, don't you see that you are nothing more than another part of me and I will love you whole heartedly until Death himself dies even though my heart belongs to another. To someone made of flesh and bone with thoughts and feelings of their own. Darling, you and I are one and the same, I love you for teaching me how to find myself. Now it's time for someone else to have a chance. 

Monday, July 9, 2018

Honesty and Perfection

The television went off

The children stopped in mid laugh

The mothers sat drinking lemonade

The fathers ran out of gas on their way home

The dogs crawled under the bed

The cats lept off the counter

The fire between us burned bright

You stood beside me and held tight

I kissed you and the world stood still,

as we danced in perfection

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Preparing for Another Flood

1 year, 11 weeks and 25 days have passed
since the one we were supposed to use
for getting out of our small towns and
discovering more of who we could be
if we continued growing up and better
because of each other and ourselves.

There are 5 days left until my birthday
and I am surrounded by love and joy,
but part of me still wishes I could be 
celebrating somewhere with you. 

I'm not really a numbers person, 
if you'll recall, but our countdown
ended long ago and the days still
keep on passing by, ticking themselves
away and counting up til the end of time. 

1 year, 11 weeks and 25 days ago
I realized what it's like to be in love
with a figment of your imagination
and I have come so far since I stood
in those muddy bogged down shoes. 

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Short of Breath (The Slideshow/Reading)

As you can see, I am giving YouTube and everything other than my little home blog here another attempt. This is a video slideshow my friend helped me put together until I can get the ball rolling on videos to go alongside my readings. Please share your thoughts, honestly and enjoy!

Also, a little background, I chose to use this piece first because it really does sum up how things have been lately, but it also holds some of the most personal meaning to me out of all my pieces. 

Friday, July 6, 2018

Stand Tall Now

My youth jumped ship -

moonstruck for Bragging -

Disappeared on my tongue -

Within a heart of Fire -

Clipped on a New

name - Stranger to Love -

Tattooed arms

Protect our Dreams -