Wednesday, October 7, 2015

What Failure to Say Goodbye Does

Photo taken by a friend while traveling Europe

I know, I know you're gone, but I couldn't help this.

I got a job today, I think you'd be proud of me. I wrote my first opinion article in journalism, I also think you would be proud of that.

I saw someone like you someone who looks like you today while i was at the grocery store, I know its my imagination cause it happens all the time no matter where i am, but it makes me wonder if you ever stop to think of me. If anyone there has my eyes or hair the same rusty color as mine was when you left. I wonder if you ever talk about me or if anyone in your circle knows my name. I know it doesn't matter but I cant talk about you anymore so it hurts to know i might be as dead to you as you  seem to be for me.

I'm actually doing well here, despite my absences in great quantities I've got decent grades. I like my home. I like the feel of the beach and sand between my toes and how cold it gets even though it'll almost never snow. There's a boy who's stuck around for a while now, over a year, I think you'd like him bit I guess I'll never know. He reads what I've written about you and tells me that it makes me beautiful even though my words for him are cliche. He says he understands and I believe him when hes around even though hes never been in love before.

You'll never read this. I know that. But I needed to tell somebody. I needed to make my questions known to more than just the ghost you left behind.

How are you? Where are you now? Is there someone or something that brings a smile to your face every day, because that's the very least of what you deserve.

Do I even need to write either set of three little words, or have I made that clear in just the way I write to no one and I call a number that nobody has picked up for years?

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