Tuesday, January 15, 2019

The Smell of Lilacs in January



Another year has passed and tides have turned,

I've lost another set of lovers' souls, and time

moves so much faster with each month gone.


Words unsaid will be insignificantly forgotten

as promises unkept burn with remembrance,

coffee tastes bitter no matter how you doctor it -

like orange juice and toothpaste mixing again.


Maybe this year I'll finally move on,

get up and get out of these ruts I've formed

chasing after your ghost. It'd be nice to have

a fresh start somewhere new, even with him

I am reminded of you: how you pushed me away.


Another year has gone to the grave

buried beneath memories no one thought

twice about saving, six feet under

letters started but never finished and

envelopes addressed - not sent.


I'm doing much better out here,

I learned how to walk on my own

and I'm not falling as much (at least

that's what my therapist says).


But the smell of lilacs drifts in the breeze

finding its way to me, still leads me


to asking myself


how you


might be doing.

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