Thursday, May 11, 2017

Gotta Get Out

You get up, brush your teeth, go where you need to go, do what you have been told to do, go home, eat, sleep, and do it all over again. You believe that everyone else that can read these words does the same thing. So when you see a teacher going into the lounge for what seems like a cup of coffee and realize that she is staying there for hours and hours at a time. You hear the other faculty members telling each other that she is living out of her car so she sleeps on the couch when she can.

Then you think your friends are just joking with make up and cheap theatrics when they show up with black eyes and scratched arms. Until you pass them in the hallway and see them getting pushed around by the older kids. Suddenly you understand why they won't let you walk with them and why they always look so sad.

Next you go home to find that your parents still aren't talking and there is a new woman in the master bedroom with your dad. She's only half dressed and your mom is in the kitchen crying. But she assures you that it's because of the onions she is chopping to put in pasta sauce. The same excuse as the night before when she ordered pizza because she was too blinded by tears to find the ingredients she wanted. Finally you understand why they were talking in hushed tones late at night and why they were receiving bills from lawyers down town.

Later when you get older you will go to work and do the very best you can. You will do what you are told you need to do and get all the things you need to live in this big confusing world. Peers will envy you and your boss will love you. Some people might begin coming to you for help with their work only until they disappear. You will realize that they just did not do things nearly as well. Then you will see them walking dogs through the park or standing on street corners holding up signs for the big department stores.

Because you always see what you want to see from where you stand and you don't ever dare to ask any questions or check things out from other perspectives. You use your senses as minimally as possible and never try to dig deeper. And everything is never as it seems - everyone has more to their story. It's only so often that someone dares to do what you (and the rest of the world) do.

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