Vortexing Myself

I hate how you can create such beautiful things

and all i can do is sit back and watch. i hate how

everything you do makes me feel so strongly that i

can't control myself and how your words let me

understand things you say in ways you swear you

don't want me to because they are too dark for

my sensitive heart. i hate how much i love you

even though i'm just another grain of sand

in your show. i hate how i can hate myself so much

and somehow i still love you more than that.


And i know it sounds like i hate you or i hate me

or i hate the life i live; but I don't. I swear I don't.

I simply find it incredibly difficult to appreciate

the fact I have yet to fully master the art of creation.


That skill that allows you to choose which

moments you experience and which ones

you don't.


P.S. I love you.


Please tell me you understand...