Twisted Light

Darkness enters slowly,

tears fall quietly, the hopelessness

is beginning to fade now. 

Trick or Treating with Memories

This year Halloween will be different. I will smile at darkness and giggle at thunder. I'll throw my head back and cast spells on the stars. I might kill off the ghost living in your room down the hall and melt the witch who keeps coming by to borrow a cup of tears here and a spoonful of blood there. Maybe I'll put banshees out of work because without you here to hold me in your arms the pain is far too much to bear and my screams are worse than all of theirs all put together. It might be fun to scare away vampires without all of Hollywood's tricks and haunt the zombies so much that they forget what they do, believe and eat. This Halloween will be different than the rest.

Maybe, just maybe you'll show up at my front door once again. Or perhaps it'll be better just because it's somewhere new.  

The Incredibly Shiny Star

I have a friend, he sleeps with strangers. And while they are sleeping more comfortably than ever before he sketches the most beautiful, the very best parts of them on tiny ripped pieces of paper. Then he leaves the drawings tucked safely in their belongings to later find when it is needed most. And I find it funny how no one ever seems to hurt when he doesn't call or show back up in the places where they'd once meet. I have this friend, he sleeps with strangers. I think that you would like him. 

Butterfly Wings and Puppy Dog Love

Would you like to dance with me tonight? Beneath fairy lights to the song of heartbeats in perfect time and dreams with a stage made of angel feathers and fallen flower petals. Pearly stars and dusted diamond rain envying us and all the while managing to wholeheartedly support us nonetheless. Would you like to dance with me tonight in a world of our own?

Look on the Kitchen Counter

Post-its thrown away years ago did a better job of getting through to you than these love letters ever could. 

Ever so Maluable

There was a curly styled lettering covering the outside of the envelope and a poised page of explicitly chosen pink words inside of it. It reads:

Dearest Strawberry,

But nothing more. The rest is what can only be described as a first grader's practice notebook for writing words instead of simple letters one at a time.

But if you look closer the capitals are in the wrong places and there is punctuation mid word as well, without even realizing it you now associate mystery with cursive.

I hope that's okay.You're another piece of paper and I'm the quill. 

Time to Say It

I just hope you know that someday they are going to ask you who it is you keep thinking about that hinders you from letting anyone else love you. When that day comes, you'll have to be able to say my name to an audience of more than one - we both know that my ghost deserves that at the very least.

There's someone new. He's been here for a while now, longer than you actually. He knows you by a nickname and I thought you should know he treats me right. You'd be happy. I think.

I hope you're happy.

Because I am. 

The Importance of Complete Knowledge

To know you like your eyes know color and a tongue knows the taste of your favorite foods. To understand you the way you understand reading or the way your mind understands language at all. To be your brightest star and your fondest memory. That’s all I could ever want and if that makes me selfish than it could be the only word on my tombstone and I’d still be perfectly content.

Because Symbols Won't Convey The Truth

Click here to listen

Blended

Because this chapter has remnants of the last and both of them are going to bleed into the next. Nothing is ever completely solid on its own. Because of the rain yesterday everything shines today, and tomorrow the sun will be more welcome than ever.

This chapter has remnants of the last, and it wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful if that weren’t true. 

An Open Door

And as the walls began to collapse the tide came in for the first time in such a long time you looked at me with such hope in your eyes.

Our footprints littered across the shore were swept away and our memories etched in the ruins of fallen sandcastles.

Finally, I let you in and for it wasn't a mistake in waiting, like every other time before. 

Autumnal: A Thought's Waltz

A golden sunrise paints our hope-filled sky with a gentle sense of warmth, almost though it knows that it's the last thing left to keep us together from all these miles apart - well aware we've never really been together anyway. Darkened lemon-yellow leaves fall into piles of gorgeous crimson friends and orange neighbors, all burying their muddied ancestors long gone of misguided goodness goodness or incomplete intentions. The air is regaining her bitter chill, only you'd never know it by the heat of Autumn's ballet or Cocoa's siren-esque serenades.

Long after you've left I'll remember you by the mere presence of Dawn imitating your vibrancy. 

For the Love of Zeus

And should you allow me to fall asleep while wrapped in your embrace, tucked between dreams and hope, upon a bed of silken angel feathers - I hope you understand that you do not have to remain at my side for all of eternity for this love of ours to outlive forever and always. Just as we never needed to exist in the same lifetime in order to have found each other.

Ode to Poetry

This is my thousandth ode to...

Poetry is just another name

for a heart - it determines 

whether you live or die

and is one of the sure-fire

ways to make another 

bleed. 

That's why red inked essays

hurt so much and why

Poetry's not always black.

Believe me when I say this -

even if you don't - Poetry

is nothing more than 

another name for the heart.

Which means I have Poetry

to thank for the person

I am becoming on top of

finding a reason to 

love myself as well. 

Oh, Poetry, you have no idea

how beautiful your soul is

The Rockstar Treatment

You may not have a million fans all fighting for front row seats at every show, but I hope you know that I’ll always be you’re number one, I loved before you were cool. I’ll be backstage at every show ready to hug you tighter than the time before and hand you a towel to dab the sweat from your brow, because that’s what true fans do.

No Such Thing as Pain Now

Let your waves pull me from the gentle banks I’ve known all my life. Then thrust my remains at that same forgotten shore. Allow every bolt of lighting ever dropped strike the very spot I’ve landed. Offer every nightmare, god, and ache to plague me all at once. Do anything you like save for handing me to Hell’s grasp - I’ve already burned him to a crisp (I know, it is a tad ironic, isn’t it?) but now understand me when I tell you this - there is no punishment you could sentence me with that I will not and cannot endure, because I’ve known the greatest joys of all life.

The Cinderellas and Supermans of the World

Every little girl’s dreamed of being a princess in a castle and every young boy’s wanted a cape, tights. and a super cool nickname - only to have Time and Reality come to shatter such innocence. But a slim few manage to embody such emblems simply by encouraging dreamers to dream or through the bravery that allows them to dare enough to hold on to a pure heart, despite the pressure that comes their way. By having found these words I can assure you that you are among those few.

Especially those of you who have been here since the beginning. 

I'll Be Home This Year

Changing leaves means cupcakes baking Saturdays and cocoa stained Sundays. It's football game Fridays (where we're giggling under the bleachers) and knit caps stitched together of hugs and red velvet. Even when I've embodied the Hangman or Fool, gold painted leaves will bring me back to these sunrise sunshine shadowed memories with you. 

Child's Play

It was first grade, you called me ugly I called you stupid - it was cute, nothing more. Until a few years later, I let you in you had me sit by the fire and moved the hair out of my face, but nothing happened.

Spring break wouldn't come soon enough you came home with me and played basketball - I skinned my knee, you put me on the counter, it was just to take the pain away. Wasn't it?

I was tired of being alone and you made me feel like someone was actually going to hold me up for a while, you put your lips to mine - it was so unnatural, uncomfortable.

November brought color to leaves and a chill to the air that I just couldn't take, you tried to warm
things up - but I was too young for that.

We were friends, it wasn't supposed to be like that - now you're gone and I don't know whether you
were bliss or poison and I'm not sure why the hell I poisoned you.

Rescued me from myself and literally built me heaven, here we are today and kisses from you don't make me miss a thing, because this is too good to have lived without.

I've loved a lot of people but darling, you're the only one that matters - burning lips and all.

Captured in Cobalt Skies

Painted by a Joshua Evans

It’s not things that don’t go your way that makes you sad it’s acknowledging the fact that you just couldn’t shine bright enough one night.

I think that’s why the moon is the focus of so many poems, we feel sorry that his only light comes from those around him. 

What Failure to Say Goodbye Does

Photo taken by a friend while traveling Europe

I know, I know you're gone, but I couldn't help this.

I got a job today, I think you'd be proud of me. I wrote my first opinion article in journalism, I also think you would be proud of that.

I saw someone like you someone who looks like you today while i was at the grocery store, I know its my imagination cause it happens all the time no matter where i am, but it makes me wonder if you ever stop to think of me. If anyone there has my eyes or hair the same rusty color as mine was when you left. I wonder if you ever talk about me or if anyone in your circle knows my name. I know it doesn't matter but I cant talk about you anymore so it hurts to know i might be as dead to you as you  seem to be for me.

I'm actually doing well here, despite my absences in great quantities I've got decent grades. I like my home. I like the feel of the beach and sand between my toes and how cold it gets even though it'll almost never snow. There's a boy who's stuck around for a while now, over a year, I think you'd like him bit I guess I'll never know. He reads what I've written about you and tells me that it makes me beautiful even though my words for him are cliche. He says he understands and I believe him when hes around even though hes never been in love before.

You'll never read this. I know that. But I needed to tell somebody. I needed to make my questions known to more than just the ghost you left behind.

How are you? Where are you now? Is there someone or something that brings a smile to your face every day, because that's the very least of what you deserve.

Do I even need to write either set of three little words, or have I made that clear in just the way I write to no one and I call a number that nobody has picked up for years?

Silly Faces in the Mirror

It really is the mosaic of little things that get you through the day.

(Coconuts love ants!)

Blurred but not Forgotten

Even when you aren't here anymore. You will make me smile. 

I wrote this for you

A thousand pages of wonder.

The card says it all.

Read  these words, you'll never be the same.

Someday, you'll pick these up at a used bookstore
for 50 cents and it'll kill you to know
that you could have read
them so much sooner.

All the Eggs in a Single Basket

No one ever said that you, as a rose, were destined to have thorns. It’s merely a precaution implemented to protect your beauty long after you grow into full bloom. After all, beauty like yours is increasingly difficult to come by.

Maybe for your next birth you should consider inquiring about the birth of a daisy - or perhaps the common pansy.

Smarter Than Nature

Hello World, in case you haven’t noticed you didn’t kill me yet today. But congratulations on your attempts though. 

Low on Cigarettes and Gas

This running back and forth for everyone else - this struggling you’re doing just to survive, it’s only because you spent so much of your youth being told that it’s the only “true” way to live. They lied to you, Sweetheart.

You can’t keep this up. 

Live Like Nature

Poem from www,iwrotethis,me
Drawing by me

Grew Up So Fast

Painted by my mother

You know, it's funny, at one point I thought you were the tame one out of us. I thought that your innocence was a plague with the power to bind you and lock you away from your inner demons - the very same demons that beg you to indulge in whatever little pleasures your hands can grasp. Including me.

It's funny, once upon a time, I was sure you were tame.